Brutality in marriage, relationship

I chanced upon  the write up by Meena Kandasamy , in Outlook magazine, about the abusive relationship she was in.http://www.outlookindia.com/feedbacks.aspx?typ=100&val=280179

With mounting shock , I went though it . I could not believe my eyes - Meena known for her bold literary achievements, a popular young writer who is a celebrity? Was it a real life story , or a piece of fiction?. Went though to the last line, validating along the way, I found it could be her story. Brutalised, scarred. sad.

Why will anyone write in detail,  about their relationship, baring their heart out? Intimate life becomes a open book, for all, to open anytime and refer to. It needs a lot of courage put the agonizing moments in a relationship ,in words .

May be it gave the author a sense of deliverance sharing it with other though print. It might be setting her free of the events, the shock and the aftermath.

And I hope it did . She is someone who has a wonderful potential to enjoy life and what it offers her. She is not meant to be under some Rakshasha who can posses her body  and soul.

I am sure she is already on to a healing process, and has taken  advices from experts in the field.

I can only wish her to get well soon.

But this post is not only about Meena.

In case you have seen the comments to that article in outlook, there are some people who have hidden under  "male unblocked" and " YHWH',who have vented their frustration in vague sentences. It looks like they are very much against Meena. Secondly, they are cribbing that the males will never talk about their relationships openly, and no media is interested in publishing their point of view.

I only feel, if they find that media is unwilling to publish  their version ,why don't they publish articles in newspapers, cribbing about their life, as an advertisement? who is stopping them from  writing blogs , as many as they want?

 I agree men too suffer in marriages. But they do not have courage to face it. They want to cover it up, to show the world they are macho and the everything is perfect. If it is failure, they feel, the world will treat them as incapable, and they want to be capable you see?

Many of the men who brutalise their wives , are insecure. Insecurity in their outside life, makes them behave like a tyrant inside the house. They are in control only at the house, outside they pretend to be very good, pliable and obliging. But all the time, their anger is building up and they have to release the frustration at home. If the partner is willing to cooperate in this show of strength, gone!!!. From day one the territory is marked, and the woman has to continue to endure abuses, brutality and give up her body , identity and  wont stop short till it claims her soul too. She is left mute and soulless, and the release comes when one of them dies.

This was the pattern in abusive marriages, in our country. The women used to suffer, only the family knew it. No word will spread outside. The society expected her to continue for the sake of children, financial security and " pativrata" image. Lack of support from parents and fear of destitution left them with no choice. And a separate chapter  is needed to write about the  children growing up in such atmosphere. This behaviour was not connected to educated persons or rich or poor. It happened in all societies and economic strata.

But those days are gone. Male unblocked can vent his feeling now, he can go to family, to court, to the parents on both sides, community and get solace. He can forge new liaisons and get out of the marriage too.

Similarly, now , I am relieved that woman have come out in the open about abusive men. The man in question may be a famed professor / write/publisher/ smart political personality/rickshaw puller/coolie/goonda, whatever.

Women are not scared to say what happened. They are not scared , to share their suffering. They want others to know it. They have financial freedom, they have education, they have faith in themselves , and know that their own identity is most important to live life.

 Even after loosing all, in a  abusive relationship,they can build their life once again.

They are moving on, finding  better mates, who can understand them, and treat them as equals.

But, it takes time to catch up. Parents, society, siblings need to give support. I understand the institution of marriage is crumbling, but if marriage is among unequal partners, and it is only brutalisation, it is better to let it crumble.

All those marriages where love and understanding, sharing, rules, is still very strong. There are many young men, who are caring, want their wives to have a good life and are interested in encouraging them to pursue their interests. And it is heartening to not that their tribe is growing.

So back to Meena's story and the comments. I do not know whether it is true or only a story, but it happened to a educated young achiever , is sad.

Whether male unblocked is having any problems , I do not know.

Men and women need to accept that there are problems in their marriages, or with their personalities.

Once they accept and face the issue,, they can  seek  professional  advice from experts, specialists. Find out whether they can solve their problems , if they can give a try to get back their life , with love.

If not it is better to end it and move on, instead of being violent/ bitchy. It is better for them and better for the society.

Pet peeve of the year!

Power Cuts. I can hear the chorus, Awa.. Come on. We are all suffering.

Suffering, alright.  What do we do when we encounter suffering? We try to manage. For some time.When the suffering becomes routine? We try to device methods to tackle it. 

If it does not go, we howl and protest and scream. Oppose.

I would like to add Power cuts to this list of suffering.

It is suffering for the housewife, for the student, for the office goes, for the small scale entrepreneurs, for Industry. For the elderly and ailing , it is nightmare. For farmers it is life and death.

I have added almost everyone, but not added leaders, Big bosses,  govt. department cabins, Big industrialists, and  entertainment big wigs. I wonder, when the power is cut in homes/villages, the above listed people too , are put to inconvenience? I doubt!

Mind you, the people who are deciding when to cut power , the people who are deciding when to increase the production, alternate methods of energy  etc, do not know how it feels to have power cuts.

If you say, it is not true, everyone suffers, I would ask, then why no solace since decades?

Tariff has been increased, I am sure people are ready to pay more even, how come alternate methods to tackle this problem, has not been pronounced so far.

We have had budgets, we have had plans, but power problems are increasing. Is there a blue print for power reforms? If yes, why it was not even discussed?

Corruption is discussed for days in Parliament, but this "Bijlee" is not discussed even one.

I am probably right to say, the persons who matter, do not know about effects of power cuts.

It has been decades, since dawn of power cuts.

There has been any number of plans for development, over 60 years, any number of "Vision statements".

There are young leaders, spending time in huts and share meals, does anyone share power cuts? I have not heard.

While travelling in posh localities, I see billboards, with stars, media and other commercials are shining big, while my suburban household locality is in darkness.

                                         (courtesy Google)

How we live in mayajaaal land. 

We watch apologetic ministers, explaining the fiscal deficit, power shortage, nuclear energy blah blah

Do big bosses have special connections, I wonder, when others in the locality are all sweating it out, and the standing crops wilting? Does the common man have any idea of the power consumption bills paid by the government? Is it available in the public domain?

People! its time to wake up.  Question your ward leaders, question your MLAs, Question your media. Ask what they are doing for changing this situation, the wastage, the uncaring attitude.

Question your leaders, when they say you have to bear it. Question your heroes, when they do not stop wastage of power. Question the local supply office, their bosses, flood them with letters.

As long as we tolerate, and do not ask, things will be "like this only, we are Indians."

                                                        (Courtesy Google )

Change of Name

Yes, I did it. I changed the name of the blog from Dream Spaces to "My clutter , My life"

The reason being, I was told by a good , well meaning , Twitter friend that " dream Spaces" sounds like a real estate blog.:-)

I agreed with him, since the Google search was showing many places for renting!

Hope you will , all , bear with me , and accept this new title with the same enthusiasm, or with a little more enthusiasm.

Keep visiting and post your good suggestions/comments.

Road rage-neighbour

Road rage is the in thing nowadays. I know to call it in-thing is not right. But,I see it all over the roads. In Hyderabad, the traffic is world famous, with no regard for red lights, or safety of other users. Jiske jee me aya vaise chalayenghe. Sab chalta hai. Poor traffic police guys, they do try to challan, for helmets, for light jumping, but how much they can do?

The more the cars, the more the cab drivers, the more the upstart owners of flashy cars, the more “marad” label on the sleeves-guys , show–offs who wants to show who the boss is ,( only on the road,) who are always wanting to be first ( go ahead first ), the more the headache for law abiding road users.

This is not limited to roads alone. The show-off driving can be taken to any extreme. While driving a scooter , guys will press accelerator, and whatever else to show they can speed, they can whrrrrroooom and they are the boss! Imagine them own a car:Itt is headache-time for all around.

Why? I do not understand, God, they have to show off to others, at others’ peril?

This page was in draft for the last two days, as I wanted my reaction to settle down before publishing.

We live in a cul-de sac, with only 4 bungalows on the road. The other side is a big wall. It is a serene road, and a pleasant one. Sadly, for the past year or so, we have a neighbour, who is not, simply , not, for this neighbourhood. He is loud in everyway, his wife will be screaming at her kid, the kid will be screaming at the maids,his co-players , his mother,all on the calm road .

The guys’s car will blare music even when it is parked, and worst of all , his use of horn is hysterical. When he makes a U turn into our lane ( all quiet lanes) his horn will announce his arrival minutes before. He needs to announce his homecoming in whatever style, at whatever time of the day/night, however late, thus disturbing the people who might be asleep.

To top it all, he takes the car in reverse every day with a maximum speed , without horn! He does not care who is in front of him. He will reverse, and he hit one of our workers, mixing cement on the road side , sending him running for his life, and throwing his tools in the air. We were all stunned to speak, he simply accelerated and was out of our colony in a jiffy.
What was appalling, he did not wait to see , whether the worker was hurt, whether he needs to apologise to us( his close neighbours). We were almost boiling with anger and wanted to seek redressal. When he showed up on the road next morning, my husband had to confront him , and all he said was a gruff” Ok, Sorry”. That‘s all.

Needless to say, he continues, honking and reversing in high speed.

Last evening, once again, he did that , and in the bargain, he simply bull-dozed our scooter parked, near our gate, away from the road. Eye witness say, he simply sped away, and after thought came back to keep the scooter back on the stand, and sped away again.

The eye witnesses called my husband, who was shocked to see the scooter damaged! As usual a lot of time went in calming ourselves down, and getting our BP normal, after which I went ahead and called his wife. She was apologetic, “ I will tell him” that is all she said. Does she not know her husband drives like a maniac? He does it always!

So far the maniac driver has not appeared to apologise. Why would he, he does it as a matter of routine, so he wouldn’t be sorry!
What we did to deserve such idiotic human being, educated, rich, uncouth , person in a decent neighbourhood?. Why is he like that?

I am peeved, I prayed to God to give me peace from this guy.

Reading habits, skip, end.

Book reading habit is pretty addictive. Once you start reading, it becomes difficult to disengage from the book and pay attention to what happens in the real world around you. For me, this habit (bad?) goes back to decades.

In our house, my older sister was an avid reader,of what she could manage to obtain. Luckily we studied in a good school, with a good library. But the main reading started off with magazines , like Vikatan, Kalki, Kumudam, kalaimagal, sudesamittiran, ( big pages),Pesumpadam ( not literary enough) , and those wonderful serials in them. I used to be a go between for her book friends and sneak into those magazines once in a while. After we were reasonably older, we all used to read books, with a stiff competition of who is going to read first. While eating lunch/dinner, we used to sit on the floor and keep the book on the lap. Mom used to get mad with a sharp" keep Saraswathi away from Anaapurni". When I used to visit friends’ houses, I used to be the one to look for books and beg them to lend me some!

College was heaven. I had a good friend who was proficient in English and only English. She introduced me to Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. I was completely bowled over, and there it started. I tried to read as many books as possible from the library, with the help of my friend , who would decide what I should read next. She knew I was handicapped with the language and was genuinely interested that I should read right books.

There was no stopping since then. I have read in buses, trains, planes, bus stops, rly. Stations and hospitals, office , sea shores, hotel lobbies, airports, and while cooking too if the books was too good. Once I start, I used to read on into the night and go for work the next day bleary eyed. If the book was touching I would cry my heart out too. Even now, though, tears flow a little slowly .

This followed me after marriage too, and I used to find some ways of sneaking in a book , after every one finished their dinner. This was irksome to dear hubby who though the idea of reading and eating was strange. " Cockroach daale tho bhi kha lethi" was his usual quote. Considering that he was the one who used to buy me books by the dozen and addict me to English fiction!When babies came, I used to put them to sleep with me reading a book, and comforting them on my lap.

A discovery that warmed my heart in due course , was, that my son, turned to be like me! He loves books, and is very proud and possessive of his collection. I hate to admit it, but he introduced me to many authors, whom I have not heard of, most of them wonderful ones. (Aha, proud mom). And he also has the habit of reading at the dining table! ( In the genes).

Another habit of mine which irked my family was,my skipping pages. I can’t read big pages after pages of descriptive stuff. I am an impatient reader, and I need to know what the author is hinting at. That was a silly of me; I missed many classics due to this, and later sat through and read them. (Exception - War and Peace). I don't really feel that it diminishes my interest in the book. I have this urge to read the plot and figure it out soon, and in case of mysteries/thrillers, I had to know the ending. I will go through entire books again.P.D.James is the only exception.

My family used to dread asking me about the plot, lest I spoil their enjoyment, by spilling out the details. I can't bear suspense. Same is the case with movies too. In the case of suspense movies, I need to read the plot first and find out almost everything, and then see the movie. I used to upset my husband, by blurting out the ending.

Meanwhile, I found this piece where skipping is justified! http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2012/jan/05/skipping-parts-of-books-robert-mccrum

More on books later.

Pet Peeve of the Day (2)

Commenting on blogs that I like is an important part of my blogging experience. I feel one has to appreciate other blogger's point of view. Sometimes one has to differ with their views too. So, I comment seriously on many blogs, and enjoy doing it. Most of the bloggers acknowledge it and some don't. I also welcome more comments on my blog. It helps to improve my blogging skills.

If you are posting frequent comments , I am sure you would have come across problems in word verification. One has to use all one's viewing skills to see what the word verification really says. I came across similar views on this interesting blog recently. http://betsyfromtennessee.blogspot.in/

She says:
//On another very troubling subject, I am very very upset at what Blogger has done now with Word Verification. I cannot read the gobbly-goop they are now using. I have never used WORD VERIFICATION on my blog --and have had NO TROUBLE. Blogger has a great spam-filter...

To tell you the truth, I have enough trouble getting to all of my commenters' blogs ---and now, with the new Word Verification, I just cannot do it. If you choose to continue to use Word Verification on your blog, I will probably quit leaving comments. I just cannot do it... Sorry!!

My good friend, Theresa (Texwisgirl) wrote an excellent post last night about this... IF you want more information, please read her post (click HERE)... OR ---if you need help getting rid of the Word Verification, contact me (betsyadams@mac.com) and I'll help you. Thanks so much!!!//

In case you want to try these out, do so and please leave a comment about your views.

Berlin Goes Nuts Over Rare Palm Fruit | Growing From Seeds

Berlin Goes Nuts Over Rare Palm Fruit | Growing From Seeds

I have never seen a fruit like this! /Have you? Please share it.

Re-post

After I saw Mr.Subramanian's comment, I checked out another blog

http://www.arkive.org/coco-de-mer/lodoicea-maldivica/
which give a photographs of the plant and more facts! Amazing.

And more amazing facts Coco-de-Mer or Double Coconut,

or Coco Fesse or Seychelles nut
at http://www.seabean.com/guide/Lodoicea_maldivica/

It is exclusively guarded at Seychelles, export is strictly regulated!



And some interesting view(?) about the nut here http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/coco-de-mer-palm-tree-130080

Pet Peeve of the day (1)

Some days , life flows smoothly. the milkman arrives on time, the domestic helper is smiling, the paper is on the doorstep by 7 a.m. , husband is all smiling, great news from children ,no irritating sales persons, no unnecessary door bells, and husband is not at home throughout out the day! Hey, all 8 hours of freedom to do what one wants. It can not get more ideal than this for a blissful time in the silent house.

But, during the first week, it is nightmare time. Living in an independent house , suburban area and having a big dog has is own advantages and many disadvantages. The privacy is fine, the unnecessary visitors are cordoned off, and dog barks at the drop of a bell/coconut/horn. The Garbage collector will come anytime during first week, since he needs to collect his monthly charges form 200 odd houses. The cable guy will also ring the bell/ scream for attention, during anytime of the day. The paper man, the laundryman, and others, keep one busy in the first week.

The stressing visit is from the Meter reading person form our dear APCPCDCL. The system of visiting each house and rolling the bill out of his machine is an event for the first week.

Here are the must do's:

1.We need to keep the compound gate opened, and access to the meter possible. Having a dog is nightmare at that time.

2.In case , the gate is not opened, he will simply ditch your house.

3. If he ditches yours , next month your bill will be double, Consequently , your reading may enhance to the next slab and bill will be exorbitant.

4.It is not that every month the same person comes. Hahaha.. Our department is too smart for that.

They send dept. personnel once, and the next month , another private company person comes for reading your meter.(alternate)

5.The consumers do not know when he will be pleased to visit the colony. There has never been a fixed day for this highly important activity.

6.Any day between first and tenth, and anytime during the day.

7.In case the owners are all working people, they had it. Every time, the neighbors have to be bothered.

8.If you are not able to be around, and get to know that the reading activity is finished for your areas, you need to go to the office and inform.

9.It takes a while for the office guy to even notice you- then they assure that by tenth someone will come for the billing.

10.Once again, you wait, for the arrival of the billing personnel.

This gives a lot of tension to the house owner. But who cares?

Why can't the Department announce the date son which this exercise is undertaken so that the consumers are aware of the date and time?

Or I can shift to an Apartment and forget about independent house/dog/ trees/garden! Or I need to make lots of money to post a Durwan outside my small house.( he may go for smoke /Chai/paan with the neighborly domestic workers ).

Thinking....

Hope to solve this pet peeve soon.

Oscar season 2012

Oscar season has started, and movie lovers are watching it with expectations,and ,some with indifference.

English movies have been part of our movie going experience since the time we were teenagers. The first English movie I remember watching was Benhur , in English , escorted by our School teacher , who was so kind to make us all appreciate good cinema. We were enthralled , watching a colour movie, did not follow any dialogue, except "yes /no", but loved the hero, cried with the crucifixion, heavenly downpour, the river of blood, acts of kindness etc etc.

Courtesy Google



Hyderabad had a movie loving crowd. May be to make up for lack of any other outlet for time-pass, except Tank bund and Public Gardens. We used to have theatres all over the place and movies used to run packed houses, even dubba movies, sometimes. English movies were "happening " time-pass. Not that all the movie goers were elites/English knowing persons. The lower stalls used to be filled with guys mostly from all walks of life , just wanted to enjoy the movie , either action, (James Bond!)/ romance( pretty ladies and other interesting scenes).The advance booking system was not around then.

Therefore Saturday and Sunday matinee time was the best ,to get to see a movie and "sight seeing", due to long Q's in front of the ticket counters in scorching sun. All the good looking ladies with their families, friends were on view. The full glare of the sun, the crowds in the Q and the cars coming gracefully and dropping memsahibs for getting into the theatre -the guys had a great time. All innocent fun.

In the first week , the publicity was mostly by word of mouth. After the first week Saturday matinee, people would ask the crowd getting out, about the movie. During one such adventure, while my husband was looking at the posters of the movie he went to watch, heard someone say in Hyderabadi language " Bah, Yeh Bomma hai tho movie dekna hi nahi, Kuch Samaj mey nahi aathi( If this Statue is there,it is not worth watching. We cant follow anything).

Courtesy Google




There are thousands of blog posts on Oscar Awards from all over the world. Hundreds from India, and a few from Hyderabad. But , here is one blog written about the Oscars, which is superb.

In case you would like .. Please read ..Seeti Maar- Diary of a Movie Lover

http://seetimaar.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

படிதத்தது - சிந்திக்க வைத்தது - தமிழவன்

ஒற்றை மொழி, பன்மொழிக் கலாச்சாரம் - தமிழவன்

ஒரு அருமையான கட்டுரை. உயிர்மை.காம் உயிரோசை வார தொகுப்பு மின் இதழில் வந்துள்ளது. கட்டாயம் படித்து சிந்திக்க வேண்டிய வேலை கொடுத்து விட்டார்!

//இரட்டைநிலை வேஷதாரித்தனம் அல்ல; அதுதான் உண்மை - தமிழவன்


என்போன்ற ஒருவன் வாழ்க்கையின் பெரும்பாலான நாட்களை ஒற்றைமொழிக் கலாச்சாரத்தின் மையத்தில் கழித்தவனல்ல. மலையாளம், கன்னடம், தெலுங்கு போன்ற பிறமொழிக் கலாச்சார மனிதர்கள், இலக்கியவாதிகள், அவர்களின் நடை உடை பாவனைகள், விருந்துகள், விழாக்கள் என்று பரிச்சயம் கொண்டவன்.

ஒற்றை மொழிக் கலாச்சாரத்தின் மையத்திற்கென்றே உள்ள உறுதிகள் இல்லாதவன்; அதன் லாபங்களைப் பெறாதவன். பன்மொழிக் கலாச்சாரங்களுக்கான உறுதியின்மை, 'என் கருத்தைப் போல் இன்னொரு கருத்தினனுக்குக்கூட ஒரு நியாயம் இருக்கலாம்' என்ற எண்ணம் கொண்டவன்.

இத்தகைய குணநலன்களை ஒற்றைமொழிக் கலாச்சாரத்தில் வளர்ந்தவர்கள், வேலை பார்த்தவர்கள், பெரும்பாலும் மதிப்பதில்லை.

தமிழ்ச் சமூகம் எத்தகைய ஒற்றைமொழிக் கலாச்சாரம் என்று யோசித்துப் பார்க்க வேண்டுமென்று படுகின்றது. முப்பதாம் வயதுக்குள்ளேயே தமிழகத்தைவிட்டு வெளியே வாழ வந்துவிட்டவன் என்ற நிலையில் எப்போதும் தமிழகத்தை இன்னொரு பார்வை வழியாகவே பார்த்து வந்திருக்கிறேன். '//





மேலே படிக்க இங்கே http://www.uyirmmai.com/Uyirosai/ContentDetails.aspx?cid=688

My experiment with Gadgets

Sometimes, life gives nasty surprises. I was having a big uncalled for pride in being a person of good health all my adult life. I was thankful to the gene on my father’s side where everyone enjoyed robust health. I was also very active and enjoyed life as much as I could.

During the past few years, my life had taken a big turn. I had to brave a lot of unpleasant turmoil and ups and downs. Even then I was glad I did not have any health worries. Pride went before the fall, and it all ended when one Doctor made an in the face announcement” you have blood sugar”!!!

Oh, my, how I had to be strong to face that taunt. It took me weeks to come to terms with it. I felt idiotic for being so proud about my health!. Silly me.

It was a big effort to keep a tab on that. I did quite well for the past 2 years. And once again I thought “ all in control”.
But the lifestyle changes did not last for long it seems. For the past few months , I had to go for hike in medication, (hateful), and admonishment from the Doctor. Hiked medicines played havoc , so reduce it.

Once again , a brave front ’ let me tackle my food intake, and selective food blah blha,’

The tests showed, the glucose level is still unacceptable.

That is bothering me a lot. What with the holiday season, and spate of weddings and allied parties, the food intake is gone haywire. Every day, I resolved to use the blood glucose monitor. Everyday get up , and drink coffee before remembering the trial. May be I did not want to face the reality of the nagging result. I am sure it is gone above normal levels.

I can feel it in my body. There are symptoms when you feel that the sugar levels are higher than normal. But after a lifetime of not putting oneself above other daily chores, it is difficult to think, what to eat, how much sugar, what to cook, added to the stress of cooking for others, cooking for self.

This is a vicious cycle. But the nagging in the mind does not stop. “I have to do this, I don’t want to end up in hospital bed, I don’t want to add to other’s problems”. These thought are important and they egg me on to take some step into monitoring the sugar levels.

Another big win, is to go and buy the Glucose monitor. ( at home, some slight reserved comments: “do you really want to buy, will you really do it?”, Years of spending your life together, people know you better than you do – so reservation is the key to daily life, doubt.. doubt..)

It took 2 months to think of self testing, few weeks more to actually do it.First day, trying to understand the OneTouch Ultra 2.

Here is my experiment with OneTouch Ultra2 :
First, taking the meter out and trying to switch it on. Poked the hand, and inserted the strip. Nothing happening, the meter would not get “on”. Strip promptly thrown into waste paper basket, with feigned lightness. Glare from the most important person in life! I am cringing here, “oh I can do it, let some strip get wasted, but I am going ahead” That moment one wishes one is alone, can decide, go ahead not think of a few strips wasted down the drain, just for the education of it. Anyway, I tried to make light of the situation and quickly folded the kit away. So that domestic peace is not disturbed. However, a few drops tears of self-pity flowed.

The next day “I can do it”, again, put the strip on the wrong side, and wasted one more. But finally, had the patience to read the instructions book and found how to switch it on, ( by inserting the strip properly and deep – it comes on automatically).
Then the lancet. It fumble with it and by mistake the level goes to 6, Poke.. Oooch .. Shock, realized the level can be 3 or 3 and it will do. draw blood,.. test.. Hey. This is so easy:-D

But everything is not comical. The meter is showing mega readings, the levels area way too high.
I need to waste lots of strips before reaching the accepted level good for my health. It is a kind of battle. But I am brave still I am going to fix it soon.

PS: My big boost came from that nice blog by Varsha Tiwary (http://wholesomeoptions.blogspot.com/2011/04/eat-your-way-out-of-diabetes.html), which led me to look into another blog by Alan Shanley and buy his book “what one earth Can I eat”.
It is a costly book, for the slim volume , and all it says is “ test, test, test”. The strips are expensive , but gives a satisfaction of knowing where you are heading with your blood glucose levels.
And it has given me confidence to battle my blood glucose.

It is a challenge, and readers, I am going to achieve it.

(very brave indeed!)

River Ganga , again in news.

The river is sacred to all of us Indians. We venerate it , worship it. Now there are doubts that it may dry up in a few decades.
That thought is unthinkable for all Indians who have been brought up on many stories about Ganga ,at various levels.

How come the people have allowed it to be rampaged and on slow death so soon? ,Is the river not sacred to all those who also spoil it? . What is their responsibility to the river, to the land and to the religion.There was some talk from the Government on cleaning up, nothing seems to have materialised, obviously no funds for such unimportant subject!
I feel very confused and sad.

Here is an article written in New York Times blogs
http://latitude.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/01/02/grunge-in-the-ganges/

(All images Google).










I tend to believe how unfair we are becoming and agree with this opinion about our unfair attitudes.http://www.dnaindia.com/analysis/column_indians-are-more-tolerant-of-unfairness_1476202

:-(

Happy New Year blog Advices

The year ending blog reading is becoming tedious. Most of the bloggers are tired/busy, and are wrapping up their posts with the gist of their activities, which is running into pages. Endless pages of photographs which one has already seen, does not make it a happy reading.Eyes are getting hurt,I am hitting the "mark all as read" button quickly.

I found one page which was sensible and offered some simple words. Many of you might have seen it already.

Doctor’s prescription for a Happy New Year: Free
30 December 2011

http://churumuri.wordpress.com/2011/12/30/free-a-doctors-prescription-for-a-happy-new-year/

Enjoy!

Happy New year.

Weddings Season and Police Control

This week has been a hectic one for the family. Having friends over, the cold weather, and the festive season added to all the fun and also stress to some extent.

There were a couple of wedding and allied celebrations to attend to, this week. For the few preceding weeks, we have been having very joyful expectations from these weddings, especially one wedding from our dear family friends. Our associations goes to some few decades,the bridegroom is part of our extended family. So the excitement in taking part in the wedding arrangements, shopping for things, meeting the members of wedding party that traveled from overseas, all was pretty heady.

(courtesy Google)



Last nite the celebrations finally ended, and we are all happy. But there was a major setback. When the couple were arriving at the reception areas, to be greeting by a nice welcoming music, we had a shock of our life. The Police came over and snatched away the equipment for the sound system etc and sternly denied permission to play any kind of music in the hall. This was the worst dampener that can happen in a celebrating atmosphere. What is a wedding reception without a dance and kids having fun?

It is understood that the general denial of permission is for the oncoming New Year festivities planned by many organisation. But that does not justify the cancellation of music playing at wedding celebrations. What they could have imposed was restricting the hours for music blaring out and that would have been tolerable.

This is pretty unfair on the couple , and for a long time this incident could cause a shadow . I hope the Police will exempt the wedding celebrations form such restrictions.

Watching movies

In our family we have a habit of following all major festivals with a movie , the same day, next day ...

In keeping with that tradition, we continued our celbration of holiday season with "Don 2". All you guys who do not favour Shah Rukh Khan , can stop reading .:-). We are totally biased towards Shah Rukh and Amri Khan. We may not like their movies, but we have to decide how the movie is, We will not go by any one's verdict.

We also read all the reviews, collect opinions and then watch the movie. At the theatre, we will be trying to prove critics wrong, and prove friends right ( those who favoured the movie). All in all we have a good time.

And so you know the next sentence. We did like the movie. :-)

Cheerful Christmas Day

Today seem to be having some magical spell in it.Entire day was spent in lovely anticipation of near and dears coming over for dinner, the preparation of it and the decoration of the house. Throughout the day , the telephones were ringing, bringing wishes from many friends and relatives. A perfect day it seems.

I had revived this blog today, making it a point to share my emotions on hearing the Carol " O Holy Night". And the tune is still ringing in my ears, the night is magical today too.

(courtesy Google)


To top it all, there was a greeting call from a long lost friend too. The forging of the familiar ties, and the eagerness of the response from our family to their family, asking about each one's health and happiness... It was magical indeed.


Thanks you Christmas season, you made my day, and year!. It is nice to cement old ties and, start anew, the friendship spirit is glowing right now all over. Let us revive our friendships and spread cheer all around.


Complements of the season.

Christmas Carols

It is Chirstmas time. All over the world people are singing hyms, carols . I am sure whatever I write today will be superfluous.


As I was lying in bed , on 24th evening, just before getting ready to go to the midnight celebrations, I was struck with a longing to hear this Carol" O holy night". Music has no religion nor language. You only have to feel it with your heart and, it touches your soul!


I also wanted to know who it was, who wrote the lyrics, and composed the divine music. The song was haunting me for some hours. With Google's help, I found what I was looking for and also stumbled upon this site. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRF9PuXBzLc


This is it. It made my day. Afterwards, when I heard the Church choir , sing the hymn, I felt how badly they were singing!.


There are carols and carols, but for me this is the best. O holy night Performed by Celtic Woman.

Courtesy Google

Cows and confusion

When one finds an article about fresh milk , it is not something new or we did not know about it.But ,from USA , it is amusing indeed. http://www.examiner.com/parenting-in-san-francisco/exploring-the-benefits-of-a-family-cow-and-raw-milk is extolling the virtues of fresh milk. And that made me laugh out loud.

Hey, in this part of the world this is what our Gouds,paalkarar and others are doing for centuries. And after the advent of packed milk on polythene, we forgot the cows and buffaloes and shunted them out of city limits, and are still shunting them out!


All because ,we wanted commerce, efficiency and no-pain no-stain no-stink milk at door step. we forgot the morning walk required for going to the milk man and wait for some minutes, chit-chat and be grateful to the Buffalo/cow. We forgot how to be vigilant and see that the milkman does not add water to the milk , before he measured out the frothy liquid. We forgot how the can would be warm to hold, and the coffee would smell like heaven and taste like one!

(courtesy Google)

(courtsey The Hindu)



Now , back to the article, and the knowledge it imparts. So what do we do now? Ape the practice and bring back our fresh milk vendors? Feel mighty good that our forefathers knew what was good life , and our civilisation was far superior? Confused.

A writer I admire Ramachandra Guha

http://www.telegraphindia.com/1110813/jsp/opinion/story_14371185.jsp

Please read this , by my favourite writer Ramachandra Guha.

I know there is a doubt on people's mind that I comment on other blogs, using my page. Yes, I do. I get inspired by some blogs,and I want to add my thoughts to it. Sometimes, I have this grandeur idea of wiritng a big text, and then I end up with trivia.I can't write too much on others blogs.:-)
Very often, when I get to a topic of interest to me, the comments section is already closed,or I am unable to comment on that site due to my limited internet knowledge.

Anyway , I cant help it. I have to draw attention to topics I feel about:-).

Ramachandra Guha is a writer I admire. I feel that in Public life, the highest post held by a person is of immense importance. In cricket , which is as much emotional for Indians, the person who holds a post should be one with some exposure to the game. We see very often, or all the time, sports being administered by guys from Political arena, wielding their clout. Why is there no protest form public on these appointments? Public need to demand that "one man One post" concept for sports, so that it is free other influences apart from sports.

harassment in public places

//There's been a consequent flipside to Anna Hazare's movement against corruption in the country. A number of people have been complaining of some fringe elements in the movement creating a nuisance - harassing and misbehaving with women, raising vulgar slogans and picking pockets.

Shanta Sharma, a student of Delhi University, said that she was harassed by a group of men returning from a protest site on Wednesday evening.//
http://www.deccanchronicle.com/channels/nation/north/harassment-and-obscenity-during-rallies-backing-anna-hazare-792


I saw this news item in today's papers. And it reminded me of the blogs I had seen earlier in the week. Harassment of women is a irksome problem all over India. Anonymity helps those cowards to behave badly and get away with it. It is a fundamental flaw in many men/guys/boys.The seriousness of it is felt only by women . It is time someone took up this cause as well. And who else could be better than...
I think the next civil society agenda can be a good one for women. They can take up this cause, as they have done so much improvement in villages, by using a very strict moral code. Have a look at this.

//Anna Hazare recognised that without addressing the menace of alcoholism, no effective and sustainable reform was possible in the village. He organised the youth of the village into an organisation named the Tarun Mandal (Youth Association).[20] Hazare and the youth group decided to take up the issue of alcoholism. At a meeting conducted in the temple, the villagers resolved to close down liquor dens and ban alcohol in the village. Since these resolutions were made in the temple, they became in a sense religious commitments. Over thirty liquor brewing units were closed by their owners voluntarily. Those who did not succumb to social pressure were forced to close down their businesses when the youth group smashed up their liquor dens. The owners could not complain as their businesses were illegal.[21]

//When some villagers were found to be drunk they were tied to poles/pillars of the temple and flogged, sometimes personally by Hazare. He justified this harsh punishment by stating in an interview to Reader's Digest in 1986 that “rural India was a harsh society”. //
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Hazare

I could not help giving a reference to this:

//The bottom line, however, remains-and this is the National Tragedy in which Anna Hazare is playing the part of Hamlet- is that we have a model of rural Development and Empowerment which institutionalises corruption, stupidity and availability cascades of the silliest sort. Thus, if there is a way forward, it is to be found in Modi's Gurjerat, not Hazare's Maharashtra. Otherwise, yet more momentum will be given to the great rural past-time of everybody forming his own Brashatachar Andolan and filing f.i.r's against everybody else in the village for assault, battery, anal rape, abetment to suttee, being pissed on from a great height, having one's land encroached on, not washing hands after doing tatti etc, etc.
The greatness of Anna Hazare is he finally ran away from the village and came to Jantar Mantar and sat down and declared a tatti bandh and humbly fasted till he got something or the other which would keep him out of the mad-house of N.G.O overpopulated Indian villages and their tremendous moral integrity and pure Gandhian values.
The extract from the Comission's report given below features a complaint by an aggrieved bus-conductor who started up his own Brashtachar Virodh outfit. Truly, we so called 'liberal' middle-class Indians have much to learn from Hazare and his ilk about the real meaning of 'Hind Swaraj'.

//http://socioproctology.blogspot.com/2011/04/justice-sawant-commission-on-anna.html

mmm...... If only wishes were horses , women could walk without fear!